Category Archives: Site Information

FACE EATER ARCH-NEMESES, ‘THE POP-U-LISTS’ ATTEMPT TO CRASH FACECON.ORG…AGAIN.

Well, my ever expanding cult constituency…

It would seem that our heretofore unmatched cult pedigree coupled with our penchant for all things bad-ass has been met with some consternation, some chagrin and yes, dare I even venture to say outright jealousy among those who would seek to ruin us. Yes, our small collective has already been making waves as a go to place for some of the jazziest cult-ural observances floating throughout the virtual quagmire that is the internet. We see the culture that matters, we tell you about it, and you do whatever it is you do. It works. But, an ancient, very powerful and globally-minded group of movers, shakers and cyber-conformists have been working in secret to topple our burgeoning collective and silence us before we can provide the much needed wide angle lens that our intellectually stunted society and artistically-flooded cultural marketplace so desperately needs. We wish only to provide fun musings, throw great conventions/functions and just share our common love of any and all things groovy. But these bastard-bitches seek only to destroy us. Yesterday evening, at 11:30 PM MST, our site was taken down for eight whole minutes because of a…DNS attack on our proxy server…caused by encrypted malware, by way of a comm disruption to the SSL of our…domain host(yep, sounds good)…which the aforementioned web trolling gremlins initiated. This is the third wholesale act-of-war in as many months. However, thanks to the valiant efforts of Face-Eater-at-large and cyberspace Jedi, TrinsicX, the site was immediately restored to it’s Christ-like glory and moving forward, the ironclad security network he has put into place should be able to withstand any further web-based assaults by those seeking to forfeit our right to free speech and assembly. That said, the fucking gauntlet has truly been laid down brothers and sisters. There is an enemy afoot, and we do not take such a threat to our noble cause lightly.

The Face Eaters have long suspected(for like the last few weeks or so) that we are being monitored, watched and/or targeted by an external force with immense wealth, untold resources and clearly nothing better to do. And with this latest attack, we can easily forgo base logic and confirm that we finally have an arch nemesis. WOOT! WOOT! Known to us currently only by their cryptic web handle, “The POP-U-LISTS”, they are an enigma wrapped in a shadow. They are shrouded in mystery. They are drizzled with the unknown, sprinkled with omnipotence and then served with a side dollop of inescapable madness and coleslaw. While a quick web search yields little to no information pertaining to their mission, activities, central leadership or if they even exist, we CAN conclude from communique’s intercepted and authenticated by our London offices that they are…all about that bass, bout that bass, no treble..?

No,that can’t be right…

PAPERS SHUFFLING

Ah yeah, wrong memo. Here we go then.

CLEARS THROAT

What we know about them is that they want conformity. They seek mediocrity. They want the reality shows and Duck Dynasty’s. They loved “Fifty Shades of Grey”, crave more Adam Sandler films and revel in the ever-sinking intellectual quotients among the GAP-clad proletariat. They love the Kardashians, watch the View, vote on American Idol and never miss a tweet by Lady Gaga. The remote control is their hands is a crack pipe. They mainline RADAR and TMZ. They suckle at the POP teet until their eyes roll back in their heads and they cackle Taylor Swift songs into the cold night like mewling banshees…

They suck. They SUCK. And we MUST fight back against these albino shape-shifting lizard bitches. We are not quite sure how that will happen just yet, but rest assured…we will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We’re going to live on. We’re going to survive. Today we celebrate our Independence Day! ahhhhhhhhhh……..yeah.

So for now just keep screening Jim Jarmusch and Gregg Araki films. Keep reading Lovecraft, Gaiman, King, Palahniuk and Bret Easton Ellis. Keep listening to Tom Waits and Archive while pontificating on the questionable merits of having Yoda brandish his saber at the end of “Attack of The Clones”. Keep playing horror-themed board games and retro video games. Keep watching Garth Merenghi. Keep watching TROMA. The revolution will not be televised my friends so keep questioning what your are being fed. Basically, until we can get more info to you, just…

KEEP IT CULT