Category Archives: CULT SHIZZ

KILLBOTS, minus the KILLBOTS?

Don’t fix that which is not broken…especially true for killer robots of the shopping-mall-security-variety.

These villains of Jim Wynorski’s 1986 cult classic Chopping Mall are of course high-tech security robots that go on a killing spree inside of a shopping mall, dubbed “Killbots.”(which was the original title of the film). But there’s a Chopping Mall redux in pre-production, and the man behind the remake says the script does *not* feature killbots.

In an interview with Nightmare Toys last week, Robert Hall (Laid to Rest) gave an update on his much-derided Chopping Mall remake, detailing the massive deviation from the original.

My version of CHOPPING MALL that I wrote is totally supernatural,” Hall told the show. “It’s more The Fog set in an abandoned mall than it is robots. Instead of killer robots, they are these mannequins that are possessed by the souls of dead slaves that worked at the plantation that the mall was built over.”

Sorry guys… purists,” he added. “I have a different take. Which [Roger Corman] really, really likedDo need to get that underway.”

Hall also said that he’s not sure if he’s even retained the aforementioned remake rights to Chopping Mall, so perhaps this fairly stupid and ill-advised plan of removing the one thing that makes this slasher classic unique will earn it a place in development hell along with the much-beleaguered Hellraiser remake, where it belongs. Despite this glaring oversight and uncertainty, he’s (foolishly?) hoping to get his planned remake off the ground in the near future. But I woulsnt hold your breath.

KEEP IT CULT

CULT GEMS – “WING COMMANDER 3&4”

 

Back in the early days of CGI, basically the hey day of the 90s, when pogs were actually a thing, there was sub-genre of video games which utilized long form CGI sequences and mouse-click room navigation intercut with action/battle simulators. It was a relatively forgettable and not entirely dissimilar from the engines that drove classic such as MYST and FANTASMAGORIA. From the long-forgotten deck of the digital past comes an oft-forgotten gem known as Wing Commander. The series began as a straight space battle sim, then by the third entry had started to include the aforementioned CGI sequences. What also began with Wing Commander 3(1994) was the inclusion of a coherent storyline as well as some star power to back it up. Mark Hamill, John Rhys-Davies, Malcolm McDowell and Tom Wilson(better known to most as Biff Tannen the Back to the Future trilogy) all joined up and the result was a great little sci-fi story with some fun, if repetitive, battle sims. Wing Commander 4(1996) would come out soon after with Hamill, McDowell and Wilson reprising their roles(and hamming it the f*** up), as well as several newcomers like cult favs Mark Dacascos(Brotherhood of the Wolf), Casper Van Dien(Starship Troopers) and Robert Russler(Nightmare On Elm Street 2 & Weird Science) to say nothing of soon-to-be Emmy-winner John Spencer(Leo McGarry from Aaron Sorkin’s The West Wing). The story is much improved over part 3, and Russler makes a compelling foil to Hamill’s cocky sky-jocky. It’s worth finding playthroughs on youtube just to watch Hamill trade barbs with Wilson and match wits with Spencer, Russler and McDowell. Its pure cheese mostly and not entirely dissimilar from a Sci-Fi Channel film of the mid-90s, especially with it’s lackluster, hokey VFX. STILL, highly recommended by our staff for the retro game enthusiast of the 90’s, sci-fi deep cut needs, or if you just have amaze-balls cult creedo.

KEEP IT CULT.

STRANGER THINGS SEASON 2 JUST DROPPED 4 DAYS EARLY

All our friends are back for another supernatural spin round the wheel of dark happenings in their small town with the debut of STRANGER THINGS Season 2. And while the initial plan according to netflix as recently as 3 days ago was to release the much anticipated follow up to last years cultural behemoth, the season have arrived and we have watched most of it. It’s maybe not better, but certainly ad good as the first season as far as we can tell. But don’t believe us. What are you waiting for?? Go and binge watch that shizzle!!

 

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We all float down here…

We, of the Face Eaters Cinema Collective are people of principle. We do not lax in our duty to report all things “cult”, and pop-culturally significant, as so we deem it, to you largely morose, debased, and misanthropic slugs who we imagine read this shit but clearly don’t. And AS SUCH, we are doing you ingrates a favor, and getting peek at the new adaptation of Stephen Kings “IT”, so as to give you’s fucks an idea of whether or not you should give a fuck. We would be remiss if we didn’t tell you whether to spend some money on the always-risky gamble of a Stephen King adaptation, and we have assigned 16 of our best film aficionados to give us a good sampling of reactions and will have a full review up within the week. Until then, join 8 Grand Junction and 8 Denver FACE EATERS for what is sure to be one of the best horror films of the year….hopefully. Until then, get your paper boats sealed in paraffin wax, and join us for the horror premiere of the year!!

 

 

And naturally,

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LASERS N’ POPCORN

As the 33 year anniversary of Real Genius begins to draw neigh, we here at the Face Eaters would just like to raise a liquid nitrogen cylinder and toast one of the greatest nerd comedies ever put to film. A coming-of-age story of young Mitch Taylor(Gabe Jarret) learning the ropes of being an intellectually-gifted freshman at elite school Pacific Tech University, whilst ever-being mentored/sabotaged by roommate and manic genius Chris Knight(masterfully played by Val Kilmer), This was and is easily one of the best teen comedies to emerge from the 1980’s. With it’s crazy inventions by the student body, cute-nerdy-dream-girl(80’s go-to-cute-nerdy-dream-girl, Michelle Meyrink), the always sardonic and hilarious William Atherton as the malevolent professor Hathaway and more geeky one liners than you can shake a giant cherry at, this movie is, well, genius. Thanks to director Martha Coolidge and crew for three decades of goofy-ass fun, giants cherris, exploding popcorn houses and, of course, smart people on ice!!

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THE MUCH-DISMISSED GENIUS OF VANILLA SKY

Having been over sixteen years since the 2001 release of Cameron Crowe’s “Vanilla Sky”, this polarizing film has been experiencing a recent resurgence in interest and wih that has found a new audience as the film has become something people in this day and age can more easily access. Perhaps a bit ahead of its time, it failed to catch on with the public when it was released and quickly was relegated to being what was widely considered to be a financial and artistic failure, with only the former being true. This wildly underrated psychological masterpiece is a wonderfully beautiful and clever blend of tragic romance, science fiction and reality-warping film narrative to say nothing of the dark humor and meta-winks here and there that add irreverence and fun to this ultimately bittersweet cinema  outing. Sigur Ros, Radiohead, Peter Gabriel and Spiritualized all laid the foundation of one of the most well realized soundtracks in recent memory. Beyond the music, the film’s use of surrealistic, non-reality sequences keep you guessing as to what the film is even really about right up until the very end. You just can’t say anymore without giving away a single aspect of what makes this film so special but it is definitely worth a couple viewings and in the humble opinion of this Face Eater, easily one of the best love stories ever.

“Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around…”

 

“I’ll see you in the next life, when we are both CATS…”

 

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GRAND JUNCTION CHAPTER TO START NEW WEEKLY SCREENING SCHEDULE

Well, the time has come for us of the Grand Junction chapter of the Face Eaters to start up our own weekly screening time so we may indulge our need to watch cult flicks/retro TV whilst playing Magic and scarfing snacks. We will regularly meet every Sunday from noon to four pm and any and all are welcome. Bring friends! We will look forward to seeing you there! Find us on Facebook and PM one of the Grand Junction Eaters or Patrick K. for details. And, per usual,

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MANIFEST DESTINY

You should be watching Westworld. No two ways about it.

Yes, it IS based on that semi-forgotten Yul Brenner vehicle from the late 70’s written and directed, if you can believe it, by Michael Crichton. Conceptually it was sorta of a dry run at Jurassic Park with wild west villains instead of dinos, but don’t let that dissuade you. The first season of the show is amazing. Well written, captivating, puzzling and daringly meta. Anthony Hopkins, Rachel Evan Wood, James Marsden, Thandie Newton and Ed Harris star. Oh, and the show is run by “Memento” co-scribe and brother of Christopher, Jonathan Nolan. Get on it!!

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GOGOL BORDELLO AND BAD RELIGION ANNOUNCED FOR RIOTFEST!!

Well, with just a few more weeks until the next RIOTFEST, the official site released the remaining lineup which answers the question that has been on this writer’s mind since he first attended RIOTFEST a couple years ago, “am I ever gonna see Bad Religion before I die?”. Turns out that the answer is a large, unabashed YES! YES! Bad motherfucking RELIGION is gonna bring down the house when they perform on September 4th as one of the artists closing the show at this year’s annual RIOTFEST concert series. Aside from that merry news, Denver mainstays and legendary gypsy-punkers GOGOL BORDELLO will be returning to the mile high city, for like the hundredth time, to remind us why we all MUST START WEARING PURPLE NOW!!(If you don’t get it, then slap yourself, go listen to GOGOL and call me in the morning). Also, the strength of the non-headliners on this years roster is impressive to say the least. And, as ever, the food and freaks will number as the stars, when the city gives way to the awesome aural juggernaut that is RIOTFEST!

 

(See store for details.)

 

See you Sept. 2 – 4, 2016 at the National Western Complex in Denver, CO.

GETTING STRANGE

If you haven’t been watching STRANGER THINGS on Netflix, you may do well to set aside a few hours to speed-watch what has been hailed as the MUST SEE TV SHOW of 2016, already being greenlit for a second season. Set in 1893 and centering around the supernatural events befalling a group of young boys and the town they live in, STRANGER THINGS is a veritable landslide of 80’s sci-fi and horror references, both auditory and visual, that it would make Tarantino blanch. It’s dark, well written, gritty, witty and above all, addictive (if you believe addicting is the word that should be used here, go kill yourself). So arcane are the homages to horror past, you will be awash in a sea of cult awesomeness. And luckily for us true cult aficionados, the two men helming this show, the writing/directing team of the Duffy Brothers, are doing so masterfully so that it takes being a true cult fanatic/genre junkie to fully recognize and enjoy them all. Bonus for the geeks among us. Example – the walkie talkies they use throughout the show are the exact same type of walkie talkies that were used by the kids in the Joe Dante, cult classic, “Explorers”. Too fucking epic, that. And so few and far between are new and fun creations that remain fresh whilst harkening back to so much you loved about cinema past, that this author should easily conclude that you do yourself a great disservice by not watching this thing ASAP!! Seriously, check it.

AND KEEP IT CULT.